Pumpkin beer in The summer? Great. Now I’m sick of it.

As I sit on my flight to San Antonio this morning I’ve had time to collect my thoughts over the past few days. One thing that has been irking me since I saw them on the shelves in August is, why are pumpkin beers for sale in August now? I associate pumpkin with the Fall season, Halloween, and Thanksgiving. Soooooooo…what does 95 degree weather and summer have to do with pumpkin beer? Due to the nature of beer geekdom they will be bought. You can count on that…they will be bought.

Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about with the beer geekdom. You know those guys. Those guys who check every website, blog, twitter account, Facebook page, linkedin, and even call people to find out when the next new release is hitting the aisles. Then they get together with their beer elitist friends and swap out beers they’ve recently bought and tell war stories about how they acquired their latest purchase.

They follow the dominate (coolest) guy’s thought process on beers. If he loves IPA’s, then by God, the whole group loves IPA’s. If he is a sour lover, then son of a —— guess who else pretends to like sours. It’s funny to watch these guys at a bar. They’ll sip the hip, cool beer even if it tastes like hell. A few of them could love a great Bavarian Hefeweizen from Europe, but it doesn’t make your skin curl with sourness or hops so you better not let anyone know you like something different once in awhile. I’m not pointing out anyone specific mind you. Just observations from what I’ve seen in different places I’ve been. So don’t wad up your panties just yet while you and your buds read this while all toasting with Founders Doom or Heady Topper.

Back to my original point…pumpkin in August? Thanks marketing departments, people demanding the newest thing, and brewery owners. Now it’s not even October and I’m frigging stuffed full of pumpkin beers. I can’t wait for mid-October when all the Christmas beers will be out. Ugh.

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I like my beer with….wine?

In the past couple of years here in America it seems like every time you turn around there is a new style of beer coming out, a new brewery in your hometown, or a new craft beer store. I keep on crossing my fingers the craft beer boom doesn’t explode like the .com biz fell on it’s face years ago. It seems to be chugging right along, and as long as it does we’ll keep enjoying everyone’s latest and greatest offerings.

The most recent thing I picked up in the big city of Corbin, Kentucky was this Dogfish Head Sixty-One. I knew of DFH 60, 90, and 120 minute IPA, so I was wondering what this was exactly. After a quick trip to everyone’s go to beer site, beer advocate, and a couple other websites I found out pretty quickly this is literally DFH’s 60 minute IPA mixed with wine.

Wild thoughts ran through my head immediately. The biggest thing was CAN this be good? Drinkable? Am I going to spit it out? Is it going to give me hemmorrhoids? IPA and wine…ugh. But, I try to stay as open to new things as I can. If it’s from DFH it can’t be that bad right?

As I poured my glass and took a drink I was waiting for a weird hoppiness on my tongue mixed with some freaky, dank wine to go with it. I couldn’t have been more wrong. What I tasted was not hops in my face with a nasty aftertaste at all. It was brilliant for what it was.

The taste reminded me of a fruit infused pale ale that you would see at a special night at your favorite craft beer bar. Nothing too overbearing, nothing too sweet, just some good mild fruit infusing going on. Keep in mind…I don’t know what this is supposed to taste like, so I couldn’t pre-judge like we all do. If anything, I was pre-judging for nasty and it wasn’t.

The other night I let my wife and some close friends try this at a small get-together we were having. Each person gave the, “hey, this isn’t bad face.” You know the face I’m talking about. The face where you know the person trying something new is either going to spit it at you or they are going to order one of their own. The point is don’t be so scared of things you haven’t heard of yet. So venture out to your favorite liquor store that used to be a Dairy Queen, like I did, and grab something different!

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Barrel full of goodness

A few months ago I was talking with Nathan, of the Casual Pint, and he was showing me pictures on his phone of bourbon barrels that he recently picked up to do a bourbon barrel beer made from the Casual Pint’s house brown called Dirty South Brown. These bourbon barrels came from the only place (in my mind) that makes bourbon. That’s right…the heart of bourbon country in central Kentucky.

I ran by the Casual Pint last night and picked up a growler of the newly released Bourbon Barrel Dirty South Brown with high expectations. I couldn’t wait to get home and crack open the growler not only to taste it, but to smell the glorious bourbon aromas. When I pulled in the driveway I nearly fell down running in the house like a 12 year old with a new toy.

Bourbon Barrel Dirty South Brown

Bourbon Barrel Dirty South Brown

I liked Casual Pint’s house brown in the first place. It’s a smooth brown that is very satisfying…it’s not a hop head brown like what everything in America seems like it’s going to now. But, once you’ve tasted this combination of the brown and the bourbon, it takes you to a special place. This beer is smooth. Damn smooth to be honest.

I’m a picky guy, a picky eater, and a very picky drinker when it comes to beers. I’ll tell you the truth no matter what. So I’m being completely honest when I say this. This beer is good all the way around. The smell, the taste, the after taste, etc. Nothing overpowers another flavor like what a lot of complex beers do. Something may sometimes overpower another flavor and ruin everything for me. But not this time. It’s balanced and complex. Good job Casual Pint…good job.

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No, it’s not the name of a horror movie.

You know, I really hate the internet sometimes with forums for about anything and know-it-alls posting their know-it-all-ism on there and on their blogs just spewing endless nonsense on their favorite subject.  Wait?  Oh???  Hi Kettle.  What’s that?  I’m black?  What?

 

My humor is beyond me sometimes.  If you can stay in the saddle with me I’ll circle back around.

Point of what I was saying was I wanted to get up a beer review up for my next randomly selected beer since we’ve lacked in that recently here at BH. So, I thought to myself, “self…go see what other people think on a few forums and see if you differ much from other opinions.”  So, I made the mistake of doing so.  I did a couple web searches for my most recent review, Great Lakes Brewing Company – Dortmunder Gold. (sounds like a horror movie, I know. Dortmunder Gold – Return of the Cyclops!)

Now, when I searched this one of the first reviews I found said that it smelled like lemon pasta.  Let me type that again.  Lemon Pasta.  REALLY genius?  Lemon pasta?  Really?  The next place said that it was sweet and smelled like grass.  The next place said it was too bitter with no sweetness at all.  Oh I see.  Because those beer sites mention how many fingers the foam had and because they give it a score of 93 that means they know how to rate beer???  I got you now.  Makes perfect sense.  Because some moron who burnt his tastebuds off on too many IPA’s and clove cigarettes, and then posted what he thought, he did it in the correct format, so his website is better and more reliable?  Sweet.

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Listen.  I’m not going to tell you how long the foam sat in the glass.  I’m not going to tell you what kind of glass I drank it out of.  I won’t even tell you some made up junk that it smells like a citrus fruit in with my spaghetti.  I’m not stupid and I hope you’re not either.  

I’m not going to pretend like I’ve had every style of beer ever.  So, let’s not even act like that. The only other Dortmunder beer I’ve ever had was from Shiner.  I like it to be quite honest.  So, my comparisons may not be fair or my pallette might not either.  But, I’d rather be honest.  This beer was dry.  I know what “dry” means.  I know what “dry” feels like.  But, I still feel like I’m lying when I just wet my mouth with a drink and I tell someone it tastes “dry.”  LOL.  But, this Great Lakes Dortmunder is just that.  It’s slightly bitter…but not so bad you want to punch a buffalo.  Also, sweet is the last word I would use.  It’s not overly hoppy either.  It’s just a cool, different beer that’s enjoyable.  

Overall, I like it.  I give it a 7.  I would drink it again just to mix it up from my norm.  I’m not going to tear the walls down to get to it.  But, it’s way better than piss water.  

Sincerely, 

Disgruntled member of the internet

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Dear Abbey…

Sorry for delay…I know we’ve got fans that are throwing things at their computer wondering where our latest whimsical postings of beerism have been lately. It’s just me and Jon and we’ve just both been busy with life. So we apologize. With that being said…on with the beer!!!

My good buddy Jeb recently got me a bottle of Brother Thelonious, which is a Belgian Abbey Ale. Normally when I get a bottle of beer with a cork in it I realize a few things. 1. it costs more than a sixer of cans of the Beast. 2. it’s probably going to have more alcohol in it than a sixer of the Beast. 3. it’s a little more high class than what I normally drink, and I’m a crafty beer dude. 4. I have to drink the whole bottle in one night, so I need something to celebrate other than it just being a Tuesday night.

Dances with Wolves awesome

Dances with Wolves awesome

Well, I waited until a Wednesday night I believe to open this bad boy…and I’m glad I did. This thing was what I expected to be. Awesome, strong, loud, and abrupt. Abbey ales are supposed to hit you in the face like finding out for the first time that your sweet aunt Josephine sleeps with dudes in a trailer down by the creek for money and cigarettes. They’re supposed to just have that effect…and this one is no exception.

In case you forgot how we work around here at Boozehoundz, I’m not going to bullshit you with some score or lie to you and tell you how great something is if it blows harder than your aunt does on a Saturday. We just tell you how it is and if we love it or hate it. FYI, I like this one a lot, and it gets an 8 on Jon’s scale.

Stay tuned for more, but until then you at least got something to chew on.

Droopy

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I prefer to drink my oatmeal.

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I enjoy eating oatmeal about as much as I enjoy eating raw chicken.  In other words…it doesn’t happen.  I hate oatmeal to be honest.  It repulses me as a food.  It’s gritty, grainy, not tasteful by itself, and when it cools it is really disturbing.  It’s like I’ve been kidnapped by Canadians and forced to eat this poisonous substance that will slowly kill me.  I also hate oatmeal cookies.  It’s not a cookie!  It’s not even sweet.  It’s like a trick cookie that your mom tries to bait you into eating to lose weight and it actually is diet food.  

So why oh why do I love a good oatmeal stout?  Well, probably because oats do have a good quality when I don’t have to chew to consume them!  That’s the only thing that makes sense.  Oatmeal is definitely not a consumable food by itself.  I guess I don’t expect to be getting any phone calls for endorsements from oatmeal producers after this review.  LOL.

I’ve had quite a few oatmeal stouts recently and Breckenridge’s version is one of my favorites.  In fact, most things I’ve had from this brewery has been pretty good.  In uncle Jonny’s rating scale, I’ll give her an 8.  So, run out to the store and broaden your beer horizon from the norm and find you a good oatmeal stout.  Because oatmeal definitely is not for eating.  🙂

 

 

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If it walks like a duck…

In case you hadn’t figured Jon and myself out by now, let me tell you something.  We are no nonsense, straight forward kind of guys.  We don’t want to hear a load of bull crap from anyone about anything.  Just say what it is.  We definitely don’t want things “prettied up” so to speak in anything in life whether we’re talking about beer, work, women, music…is there anything else?

With that being said on to the next review!  Let me tell you something about this next beer.  I like it pretty well to be honest.  If someone told me it’s a coffee stout, it’s in your face coffee flavor and a stout.  Well, they would be telling me the God’s honest truth.  There is no denying that Founder’s Breakfast Stout is a very good coffee stout.  No bones about it…

Boom!

When I took the first drink of this it hit me hard.  Like hit me with a brick on my face hard.  Remember the first time you saw that 350 pound lady at Wal-Mart wearing a sports bra and stretch pants and her camel toe was so big it looked like it was talking to you as she walked by?  That’s how hard this beer hits you.  Boom!  For real.

The thing that I’m having a problem with is that it says Double Chocolate Coffee Oatmeal Stout.  Wow.  That’s a lot of stuff going on in that title.  Can one beer really deliver on all these promises?  No.  No they cannot.  This irks me more than the dude who scratches 17 lottery tickets off at the gas station counter while there is a line of 8 people behind him.  This beer tastes no more like double chocolate coffee oatmeal stout than Asskisser Hefeweizen tastes like a Hefeweizen.  Seriously.

I hate comparing brands, but look at Young’s Double Chocolate stout.  You know what it tastes like?  Hmmm.  Double Chocoate stout!  Wow!  OMG!  Really?  Something tastes like what the label says it is.  Oh my???  I like coffee stouts, don’t get me wrong.  But, I really like double chocolate stouts.  When a label promises something and doesn’t deliver I want to ride Jon’s unicorn through the internet and smack the marketing person who made these empty promises.  I don’t know where the word oatmeal comes into play in this beer either, but whatever.

Just call your freaking beer what it is.  Don’t fancy up the title, don’t add extra stuff in the name, don’t call it something stupid with a ridiculous description to trick me into buying your beer.  If you make something, just call it what it is!

This beer gets two ratings.  The actual coffee stout gets an 8.  The labeling and tasting like chocolate gets a 1.

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