If it walks like a duck…

In case you hadn’t figured Jon and myself out by now, let me tell you something.  We are no nonsense, straight forward kind of guys.  We don’t want to hear a load of bull crap from anyone about anything.  Just say what it is.  We definitely don’t want things “prettied up” so to speak in anything in life whether we’re talking about beer, work, women, music…is there anything else?

With that being said on to the next review!  Let me tell you something about this next beer.  I like it pretty well to be honest.  If someone told me it’s a coffee stout, it’s in your face coffee flavor and a stout.  Well, they would be telling me the God’s honest truth.  There is no denying that Founder’s Breakfast Stout is a very good coffee stout.  No bones about it…

Boom!

When I took the first drink of this it hit me hard.  Like hit me with a brick on my face hard.  Remember the first time you saw that 350 pound lady at Wal-Mart wearing a sports bra and stretch pants and her camel toe was so big it looked like it was talking to you as she walked by?  That’s how hard this beer hits you.  Boom!  For real.

The thing that I’m having a problem with is that it says Double Chocolate Coffee Oatmeal Stout.  Wow.  That’s a lot of stuff going on in that title.  Can one beer really deliver on all these promises?  No.  No they cannot.  This irks me more than the dude who scratches 17 lottery tickets off at the gas station counter while there is a line of 8 people behind him.  This beer tastes no more like double chocolate coffee oatmeal stout than Asskisser Hefeweizen tastes like a Hefeweizen.  Seriously.

I hate comparing brands, but look at Young’s Double Chocolate stout.  You know what it tastes like?  Hmmm.  Double Chocoate stout!  Wow!  OMG!  Really?  Something tastes like what the label says it is.  Oh my???  I like coffee stouts, don’t get me wrong.  But, I really like double chocolate stouts.  When a label promises something and doesn’t deliver I want to ride Jon’s unicorn through the internet and smack the marketing person who made these empty promises.  I don’t know where the word oatmeal comes into play in this beer either, but whatever.

Just call your freaking beer what it is.  Don’t fancy up the title, don’t add extra stuff in the name, don’t call it something stupid with a ridiculous description to trick me into buying your beer.  If you make something, just call it what it is!

This beer gets two ratings.  The actual coffee stout gets an 8.  The labeling and tasting like chocolate gets a 1.

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2 Responses to If it walks like a duck…

  1. merrejt says:

    I completely agree. I had been wanting to try this for a while because I love chocolate and oatmeal stouts and was disappointed once I tried it. I love coffee and I love stouts but this was almost too much, like I was out of creamer and added beer to my coffee instead.

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