No, it’s not the name of a horror movie.

You know, I really hate the internet sometimes with forums for about anything and know-it-alls posting their know-it-all-ism on there and on their blogs just spewing endless nonsense on their favorite subject.  Wait?  Oh???  Hi Kettle.  What’s that?  I’m black?  What?


My humor is beyond me sometimes.  If you can stay in the saddle with me I’ll circle back around.

Point of what I was saying was I wanted to get up a beer review up for my next randomly selected beer since we’ve lacked in that recently here at BH. So, I thought to myself, “self…go see what other people think on a few forums and see if you differ much from other opinions.”  So, I made the mistake of doing so.  I did a couple web searches for my most recent review, Great Lakes Brewing Company – Dortmunder Gold. (sounds like a horror movie, I know. Dortmunder Gold – Return of the Cyclops!)

Now, when I searched this one of the first reviews I found said that it smelled like lemon pasta.  Let me type that again.  Lemon Pasta.  REALLY genius?  Lemon pasta?  Really?  The next place said that it was sweet and smelled like grass.  The next place said it was too bitter with no sweetness at all.  Oh I see.  Because those beer sites mention how many fingers the foam had and because they give it a score of 93 that means they know how to rate beer???  I got you now.  Makes perfect sense.  Because some moron who burnt his tastebuds off on too many IPA’s and clove cigarettes, and then posted what he thought, he did it in the correct format, so his website is better and more reliable?  Sweet.


Listen.  I’m not going to tell you how long the foam sat in the glass.  I’m not going to tell you what kind of glass I drank it out of.  I won’t even tell you some made up junk that it smells like a citrus fruit in with my spaghetti.  I’m not stupid and I hope you’re not either.  

I’m not going to pretend like I’ve had every style of beer ever.  So, let’s not even act like that. The only other Dortmunder beer I’ve ever had was from Shiner.  I like it to be quite honest.  So, my comparisons may not be fair or my pallette might not either.  But, I’d rather be honest.  This beer was dry.  I know what “dry” means.  I know what “dry” feels like.  But, I still feel like I’m lying when I just wet my mouth with a drink and I tell someone it tastes “dry.”  LOL.  But, this Great Lakes Dortmunder is just that.  It’s slightly bitter…but not so bad you want to punch a buffalo.  Also, sweet is the last word I would use.  It’s not overly hoppy either.  It’s just a cool, different beer that’s enjoyable.  

Overall, I like it.  I give it a 7.  I would drink it again just to mix it up from my norm.  I’m not going to tear the walls down to get to it.  But, it’s way better than piss water.  


Disgruntled member of the internet

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